Standing Alone

by Luna Martinez

Inspired by “a Recollection of October 5th 1858” (1858) by William Dyce

Standing alone

Packed and prepared

Scouring for a glimmering speck of guidance

Possibly tucked in the crevice

Of a stone which I’ve fumbled over

My shovel digs the hole

Of where I am destined to fall

A warm place to call home

In the cool depths of the earth

I wait for the ones

Who told me to wait here

I do as I’m told

Observing and shivering

I have an itch

Which I can’t seem to reach

But if I move

I’ll be sorry

The wandering eyes sear my soul

Imprinting a stamp of judgment

Onto my marshmallow heart

Which goes up in flames

Stopped in my tracks

My mind buzzes

As the dirt swallows my feet

My thoughts flourish

I take a step

I drop the shovel

Chasing a rainbow

Sprouted by my imagination

My eyes are closed

But my gaze is set

Ripping off my coat

I dance through the fluorescent pasture

Butterflies decorate my wild locks

The sun toasts my cheeks

Leaping for joy

Landing in a pool of honey

Breathing in the colors

I cough

My eyes are torn open

My rainbow is gone

I stand up

From the muddy puddle

Shriveled is my body

That is being mocked by passersby

My smile fades

Back into the cave where it resided

Clutching the scratchy coat

My knuckles whiten

Then relax

I pick up my shovel

Waiting

And digging

Standing alone

I search for familiar faces

Befriending the soot

That coats my face

Waiting

For the butterflies

For the sun

For something

For someone

But here I am

Standing alone